I used to have a totally different view of the word forgiveness and I resisted against forgiving people who have caused me harm in my life. I thought forgiveness meant that I had to go on and be in contact with the person who harmed me and that I had to forget what happened as if it didn't matter what they did to me like it was a free for all to use and abuse me at will. I guess I viewed forgiveness as some sort of submission that it meant it was okay for people to walk all over me and I had to be nice and happy about it and to them.

Well... that's not what forgiveness is about at all. I have learned over the years that forgiveness is more for you than it is for them. It doesn't mean you don't acknowledge what was done that harmed you, however it means that you are willing to let it go and feel peace about it instead. It means you don't hold grudges and anger towards them, because anger and resentment only hurts you more than it does them. They could care less if you direct your hate and revenge against them. Those things will eat you alive if you let it fill your life. It robs you of your joy and peace in life. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to put yourself in their path again for a repeat performance either. It means that you can let them go with peace and blessings and with the hope that they will find peace and contentment in their lives.

Forgiveness to me means that I am at peace with the harm they caused me. It means I don't dwell on the things that were done to me and I can let it go. It means that I don't feel angry at them any longer. It means that I don't carry that resentment of them like baggage that can't be sat down. Forgiveness means that I am willing to move on and live my life with peace and joyfulness. Forgiveness means I pray for their peace and bless those that have harmed me as they go on in their life. After all I am not judge and jury and it is not my place to dispense punishment or judgement upon them.

As I go about my life, I feel the freedom of what forgiveness has given me. My heart feels lighter and my life is brighter. I no longer carry baggage around that weighs me down. Forgiveness frees your sprit to enjoy and focus on the good things in life.

Give it a try and you will feel that peace that can be yours.

Ralph sure knows what he is talking about on this one. Many times when life is whizzing by fast and furious, I have to take a step back and find a quiet refuge to get grounded and centered again. When I feel the stress of the days is closing in and I find it hard to focus on any one thing I know it is time to make that quiet time for myself. When I do those types of things for myself, it refreshes not only my senses but my mind as well as my overall well-being.

You ever have those days that you have a long list of things you have to get done, yet everyone wants your attention all at once and each time you sit down to start to try to get anything done or completely, you have interruption after interruption. The phone rings off the hook, people want you to commit to helping them do things, you have a deadline to meet, you have to pick up the kids and get them to practice and make dinner before the meeting tonight at 6:00. The list goes on and on and on. Where is that Calgon bath when you need it the most?

It's actually very easy to just take a few minutes for yourself. The world is not going to fall apart in the ten minutes you take to settle yourself and find some breathing room. If you work in an office, take at least five to ten minutes to quiet your swirling mind and just breathe and clear your mind. If this is impossible to do at your desk, go to the restroom and close the stall door. If that is not an option, find a conference room, or some place where you will be alone and not interrupted.

Sit down and get comfortable. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in hold and release it as the tension releases as you exhale. If you are really stressed and you feel the tension all through your body, as you inhale, tighten every muscle you can clinch them up as tight as you can, then simply release them as you exhale. Do this several times. Then just breathing in and out naturally, focus your mind on your breath. Feel it going in and filling your lungs then slowly exhale releasing all the thoughts and cares of the day away.

If you can take at least five minutes to do this on a daily basis you will feel more grounded and centered and ready to tackle anything that comes your way. If the workplace is not a good location because of people coming in and out, then go to your car. Everything will be there when you get back and you can work better and more efficiently when your mind is clear and refreshed.

If you are at home, take a bit more time for yourself for these calming breathing exercises. If you are outdoors, find a spot of beauty where you can sit for a moment or to and take in the scenery. If you don't feel comfortable closing your eyes then focus on one spot or thing in your view and do the breathing exercise . Feel the tension easing and flowing away. The more you practice this, the better you will feel. It works for me and I know it can work for you if you devote the time to taking care of you.